
Image: Porfirio Jimenez
This past year has been filled with change and adjustment to those changes that were not in my control. I would like to think that I have been resilient through these changes, but I realize that I most probably was more resistant than I should have been. And, so now I sit here on New Year’s Eve and am contemplating how to move out of that resistance.
The usual prescription that many and I have followed is formulating resolutions for the upcoming year. And, although this resolve seems empowering, for me, this year it feels more like promises that will not be kept and the added pressure of having to achieve.
Dutifully, I order my astrological report(s) for the upcoming year, vowing to plot out every nuance of the year in transits and time. And, again best laid plans are created to be more attentive and present in “scripting” my year. This year, life took hold and those reports have not been ordered and most likely will not. Best intentions fade a few months in and these carefully compiled binders are impressive on my shelf but of no value if not used.
My mother always drew 3 runes on New Year’s day for the coming year. This is a practice that I often engaged in with her since she would spend the day with us and now with her passing, the copies she made of the rune meanings and dated for each year are something I cannot yet part with; although a practice I myself will not continue now that she is gone.
My style has normally been to do a Tarot reading for the upcoming year. Part of this exercise and experience for me is in the creation of a new spread each year. The tactile and intellectual engagement opens the proper pathways for me to receive what is needed. This I will most likely hold on to as tradition.
This year I keep coming back to the question of “where do I go from here?” What do I really want to bring from my lessons of this past year into the next?More importantly, where do I want to spend my energy as this year moves forward; each year seeming to quicken its pace?
I think that this year, I will make a bigger change. Something that takes me out of my comfort zone of control, scripting and insane expectations. This year I am going to allow myself to be surprised by the potential of what can be. This year I am going to have goals but allow those goals to move with flexibility and course correct as needed. This year I am going to allow my roots to reach deeper which will allow me to reach higher.
These may sound like resolutions, but the difference is that this year I think I’ve surrendered to not knowing where I go from here…. Blessings on your own journey…. Robin
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